Samoan, Tongan and Cook Islands funerals in New Zealand

Samoan funerals: white clothing and family contributions

South Auckland funeral director Ese Tatupu told The Spinoff that white is the colour to wear to a Samoan funeral: "It's a colour that all religions wear when attending church." Mourners wear white clothing such as a puletasi or ie faitaga.

In a 2024 NZ Herald interview, Mr Tatupu explained that extended families traditionally contribute money, fine mats (ie tōga) and boxes of corned beef and chicken. He also noted that "in our community, nobody wants to talk about death", and urged Pacific families to plan and save for funerals so they do not go into debt. The same article notes that Work and Income offers a funeral grant to help eligible families with costs.

Flowers can sit alongside these contributions, but they don't replace them. If you are part of the extended family, ask how you can contribute.

Tongan funerals: black, ta'ovala and the fahu

For Tongan funerals, The Spinoff reports that mourners wear black, with a ta'ovala (a woven mat) tied around the waist with a kafa. Immediate family may wear black "from three months to a year or more". The fahu, the father's older sister, has a special place and wears a ta'ovala faka'ahu.

Wikipedia's article on Tongan funerals, a secondary source, describes an initial mourning period of ten days and an all-night vigil ('apō), with mourning concluding 100 days after the burial. Practices vary between families and churches, so check with the family before planning around these periods.

Cook Islands funerals and the tīvaevae

Te Papa explains that tīvaevae, the Cook Islands' distinctive quilts, are given at important occasions such as weddings, funerals and pākoti'anga rauru (boys' haircutting ceremonies), and in New Zealand also at 21st birthdays. The Cook Islands government's website adds that they are used at funerals and that sometimes the body is wrapped in one.

If you are close to the family, ask how you can help. If you are a friend or colleague, a card and flowers sent to the home are a kind gesture.

Niuean, Fijian and Tahitian customs in brief

The same Spinoff piece on Pacific funerals notes some other differences:

• Niuean: many wear black, and some wear village colours.
• Fijian: black sulu.
• Tahitian: white or black, and some families wear floral prints to celebrate the life of the person who has died.

If you are unsure what to wear, a quiet question to the family or the funeral director is always welcome.

Sending flowers to a Pacific family

The sources we used describe money, fine mats, food and tīvaevae as the main family contributions, rather than florist flowers. That doesn't mean flowers are unwelcome; it means they work best as a personal gesture from friends, colleagues or neighbours.

• Can't attend? A card with a short, sincere message, sent with flowers to the family home, lets them know you are thinking of them.
• Ask first: the funeral director can tell you whether flowers should go to the service, the church or the family home.
• Order early: services can be organised quickly. Order early in the day, and a day or two ahead where possible.
• Colours: for a Samoan family, white flowers sit naturally with the white clothing mourners wear. For other families, ask, or choose something simple.
• Burial: according to Mr Tatupu, 72% of Pasifika are buried in council cemeteries and 21% are cremated, so many families will visit a grave afterwards. Check the council's cemetery rules before leaving flowers.

Our general funeral and sympathy flowers guide covers timing, death notices and where to send flowers, and our tangihanga guide covers Māori customs.

White Sunday: a happier occasion

Not every Pacific occasion is a sad one. White Sunday, or Lotu Tamaiti (Children's Service), is a Samoan celebration held on the second Sunday of October, when women and children dress completely in white. It is not a New Zealand public holiday, but it is celebrated in churches here: the centenary in 1998 was marked in Congregational Christian Church of Samoa congregations, including in New Zealand. In the 2023 Census, as summarised on Wikipedia, 8.2% of Auckland region residents identified as Samoan. Upcoming dates: 11 October 2026, 10 October 2027 and 8 October 2028. Our flower calendar lists it alongside other occasions.

Pacific culture is celebrated in towns well beyond Auckland, too: Tokoroa holds its Polynesian Festival every September at the South Waikato Events Centre.